On Confidence

It’s that time of year again.  Dusting off the rack and getting outside in earnest.  It can be hard to get the lead head back after a winter of gym climbing (or skiing!).  As I see it, there are three ways to obtain confidence while climbing: Self confidence based on past successes, self confidence based on (for lack of a better word) ignorance, and confidence bestowed by others.

Self confidence based on past successes.  “I can climb 5.10 because I’ve done it a thousand times, no prob.”  The strongest kind of confidence, but it has a couple problems (my solutions are in italics):

1.  If you are pushing your limits, past successes may not be a good indicator (because those challenges were too easy?).

Increase acute difficulties in a safe environment.  For me, this means bouldering indoors to train for routes.  So when I look at an imposing 5.12+ I KNOW I’ve done boulder problems that are much harder on a per move basis.
2.  After a recent failure, or an extended period without being tested the successes may be overshadowed or harder to remember.

Write down successes, or quantify your results.  Like “I’ve succeeded on this type of climb 9/10 times historically” or “last year I could do XXX, and I know I’m stronger now.”

Self confidence based on ignorance. I stood at the bottom of a monster, a 8′ horizontal roof was above.  The climb was at my limit.  I climbed through the roof, and (barely) established on the face above.  At this point, I KNEW I “got” the route, and I would not fall.  However, what I didn’t know was that the actual difficulties (the crux) was still above me.  I cruised through the supposed crux without any trouble, and lowered off the climb with a smile.  We read the guide book, and the author noted the difficulties up high.  When my partner followed the line, he fell repeatedly at the high crux.  I was confused, but now I am sure my easy passage through the crux was due to complete confidence and a presumption of success.

This type of confidence can be good (as shown above), but often it can be expensive, or worse yet, dangerous.  I think the best solution to avoid these problems is to seek out experienced opinion.  For a new climber, this may mean seeking out a mentor. For an experienced climber, this may mean seeking beta about the area/ climb in question, and climbing with a peer.

Confidence bestowed by others. My best friends and climbing partners make me stronger.  Through words of encouragement, or a silent trust, they have told me “You can do it, you will do it,” even when I have not believed myself.  The good partner will not let a recent failure overshadow their confidence in you.  A good partner will be objective, a second option just when you need it.  The wonderful thing is that YOU are that partner (or can be).  Communication and feel-out your partner, see what they need; I’ve been told (or told others) to just shut up sometimes.  Other times I scream encouragement faster than my tongue can move.  It’s all good.

Conflicts in Confidence. When I was brainstorming for this article, I started to cry; that deep-hurt type of cry where words don’t come.  I was remembering a time when I believed wholeheartedly in myself, but ____  didn’t.  What do you do in this scenario?  Well, I quit that job, or we eventually broke up, or the friendship wasn’t the same…

The three types of confidence should combine to form a complete picture, and from that, a decision.  If you believe in yourself, but EVERYONE else says it’s a bad idea, maybe you should reconsider.

I sat frozen at the cafe.  Removed from the conversation, I stared at a beautiful painting high on the wall, mesmerized.  I have never painted.  My (recently engaged) fiance touched my arm to bring me back, saying “You could paint that,”  and she is right.